Ode to the Spork
Of all the eating utensils I’ve used in my life,
Only one touched my heart, it was love at first sight.
Its uses are numerous, much to my delight
Here are a few reasons the spork’s out of sight:
Consuming anything and everything at my favorite camp site,
Keeping me safe in my tent, on a warm summer’s night.
Eating cake with my new bride on our wedding night,
Defending myself against terrorists, on an international flight.
It changes from fork to spoon at the speed of light,
Once I used my spork to kill a red spider mite.
It’s my favorite choice to scratch mosquito bites,
Without the handle they make excellent shades against ultraviolet light.
Although it’s an impressive weapon in its own right,
The spork’s most common use is for eating, most every night.
Potatoes, cole slaw, soups of all types,
You can even cut spam, if you hold it just right.
Mixing or stirring, even beating egg whites.
Its uses in the kitchen aren’t lacking in the slight.
Although made of plastic, its strength is all right,
They come in many colors, but usually black or white.
Try and take my spork, and you’re in for a fight,
Its not just mere cutlery, it’s a way of life.